i still have to keep my energy up. i thought i had something good before rehearsal when i practiced at home, but it wasn't as good as i had thought. i need to be louder. i need to have more passion. i need to look into deshawnte's eyes and tell her that i'm dazzled by her beauty. i have to convince the audience that i am so. i must. i must go!

what i thought was passionate turned out to be monotone. thankfully, kerri thought i made some progress, but it all felt the same to me.

!

jesus, i haven't written in this for the longest while. shame.

the photographers gave me a good reminder of which way i should face the audience, and how conscious i should be and integrating that consciousness into my movements, to the effect of spreading out my arms to the audience, and posing.

the discussion on all of the character parts was real good for me. not only for the understanding of all of the other characters, but for mine in particular: the sparrow. i never really got that whole symbolism of the sparrow until the discussion.

i need more energy for the sparrow. i need more energy for the sparrow. i need more energy for the sparrow.

the chant today was a good ensemble effort. my personal part was essentially a fast percussion beat done with my sticks, alongside with my voice following the rhythm and speed of that beat, sort of an "oooh-ay-oooh-ay-oooh" drone, and simpler monotone drone variations in between.

camrin's falcon costume looked real nice, so i am excited to see the rest of the birds come alive in dress.

i was planning to come to rehearsal today hyped up on venom, but i was such in a hurry to get out of the house that i forgot to drink it. so i came to today's rehearsal with 4 hours of sleep, and basically no glance at the script.

i felt the lack of energy in the warm up excercises and break-out movements, but i managed to get by. the actual killer was the script read, of which i couldn't jump in and have my presence heard as much as i would have wanted to. there are some dominant voices, like joe, cameron, and kerri, who really take center stage and control the situations with a well heard voice. when i speak, it doesn't seem to be as resounding or heavy as i would like to think it is..... so i must work on that.

i have to catch beats.